From Life of Marta: Cheating

Is trust necessary element of a relationship or is love just enough? I always thought that whenever true love came everything would go perfectly smoothly, but has it? Has it for any of you women out there? No. I’ll be damned if I say the process of being someone’s lover isn’t astounding, but it also has some bullshit coming with it. Before we start to understand the act of infidelity, I think we need to know where the line between cheating and just being flirtatious is. 

                                                                           

 

Remember, when gathered with girlfriends, we would giggle about a guy with huge biceps, shiny hair and sexy manners? Is that considered cheating? Probably every couple draws their own unique line, but what happens when two do not agree? That may be the worst-case scenario. If we go with the science, it is more likely that men are going to cheat more, according to the fact that they have more testosterone, which is responsible for them wanting to have more sex than women. In spite of reading all these scientific articles about the psychology behind committing infidelity, we realize that once it happens, no science will help us.

We are flooded with emotions of: hate, love, anger, disappointment, shame, confusion that never fade away because we are in constant questioning of ourselves: what did we do wrong? But wait, let’s stop there a second. There are many reasons people cheat but all of them come down to three main motives and only one of them may actually be connected to you.                                 

 

First one I guess is for personal reasons: The phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater” refers to individual reasons for cheating—qualities about the person that make him or her more prone to committing infidelity, e.g. they may have low self-esteem and in that case, somebody other than you, finding them attractive can be a big ego boost.                                                                                                

Another reason might as well be said that, sometimes when opportunity knocks, the zip comes down. With this I am referring to situational reasons, others cheat because of the setting: A person might not have a personality prone to cheating, and might be in a perfectly happy relationship, but something about their environment puts them at risk of infidelity. Some situations are more tempting than others. Spending time in settings with many attractive people can make cheating more likely. So, girls don’t you worry about you being the wrongdoer, but also do not believe the lie your friends will tell you: “he is a pig, there is nothing you could have done, you were the best thing that happened to him, doesn’t matter what was wrong in your relationship he should not have done it”.

NO! NO! NO because this is exactly what the third reason is: relationship problems. Either you have been fighting a lot about stupid stuff, not having enough sex, being jealous all the time or any similar cause, he wanted out. There is always something lacking at home, they become bored, unfulfilled and that is when they start to find something more exciting. So, let’s not say that only one part of the partnership needs to get all the hatred, sometimes both of us are guilty in different aspects, so before judging them all, first think what was your fault? Maybe you could have done something differently that would change the whole path of your relationship.

–  Marta!

 

 

Sketches: Giorgi Wazowski